The Calm Before…

Tomorrow is my last official day being unemployed. On Monday I start my new job as senior pastor of Crestwood Christian Church in Lexington, Ky. As with most pastoral searches, this has been a lengthy one. I first heard from the chair of the search committee in February of this year, so that means the process took nine months from first contact to first day on the job. That’s a lot of time to have the future thrown up in the air and your emotions on edge. I’m glad it is coming to an end.

It’s actually been an enjoyable journey, despite all the emotions. The church here in Lexington has been incredibly hospitable and understanding, and my previous church in Lincolnshire, Ill., was supportive and gracious. In both places, I believe my family and I had the honor of experiencing church as it was meant to be. That doesn’t mean there weren’t moments of humanness, but I hope that God was honored through the process.

We’re done with our goodbyes in Illinois, which were tearful and heartbreaking and so, so sacred to me. I cried the hardest when saying goodbye to my friend and mentor, but I cried often when thinking about leaving such a wonderful group of people. I’m blessed t count many of them as friends.

And now, let the hellos begin! Crestwood is about triple the size of Lincolnshire, so I have a lot more names to learn. I’m sure I’ll call someone “Bill” instead of “Bob” or “Mary” instead of “Martha.” I just hope I don’t look at Bill and call him “Martha!” The memory function of my brain will be in overdrive the next few weeks. I wish there wasn’t so much junk up there wasting valuable space (do you remember the name of the guy who hosted “The Match Game?” Gene Rayburn).

There’s a lot of excitement that goes along with starting at a new church. I feel an incredible sense of anticipation and expectancy, which is only appropriate as we enter the season of Advent. I believe something new and exciting is about to be born, both within my spirit and within Crestwood Christian Church. I give thanks to God for such wonderful blessings and I eagerly await the arrival of what God is going to do.

Turning the Page…

I keep a running bibliography of what I’m reading. I do this partly because the Elders at my church like to see that I am continuing my education. They want to know that their pastor isn’t sitting around eating Reese’s Cups and playing Wii (that’s only on weekends). But I also do it as a reminder of my literary journey. Below are the books I read in 2008. I have divided them into “work” and “fun” but there is obviously a lot of overlap in those categories. Many of the “work” books were a lot of fun to read, and many of the “fun” books informed my work. I’m not going to take the time to provide a link for every one of the books. If you’re curious about a book, search on Amazon for it. Also, I’m glad to offer any comments if you’d like to know more about a particular book. Happy reading!

BIBLIOGRAPHY 2008

WORK

Breaux, Mike. Making Ripples.

Bridges, William. Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes.

Brown, Raymond. The Message of Deuteronomy.

Buford, Bob. Halftime.

Easum, William. Sacred Cows Make Gourmet Burgers: Ministry for Anywhere, Anytime, with Anyone.

Enns, Peter. Exodus: The NIV Application Commentary.

Gane, Roy. Leviticus, Numbers: the NIV Application Commentary.

Gray, John, M.D. Mars and Venus.

Halvorsen, Delia. Teaching and Celebrating the Christian Seasons.

Keller, W. Phillip. A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23.

Lawrence, Rick. Jesus-Centered Youth Ministry.

Lucado, Max. Every Day Deserves a Chance.

McLaren, Brian. A Generous Orthodoxy.

Moreland, J.P. and Tim Muelhoff. The God Conversation.

Ortberg, John. When the Game Is Over, It All Goes Back in the Box.

Rainer, Thom, and Eric Geiger. Simple Church.

Reeves, Nancy. Spirituality for Extroverts.

Schmitmeyer, Jim. Preacher in a Hard Hat.

Sisk, Ronald. The Competent Pastor: Skills and Self-Knowledge for Serving Well.

Stanley, Andy. Next Generation Leader.

Wheatley, Margaret. Turning to One Another.

FUN

Blakley, Brian, M.D., and Mary-Ellen Siegel. Feeling Dizzy: Understanding and Treating Dizziness, Vertigo, and other Balance Disorders.

Cornwell, Patricia. At Risk.

Evanovich, Janet. Metro Girl.

Evanovich, Janet. Three to Get Deadly.

Evanovich, Janet. Four to Score.

Evanovich, Janet. High Five.

Jacobs, A.J. The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Man in the World.

Lamott, Anne. Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year.

Lamott, Anne. Blue Shoe.

Meyer, Stephenie. Twilight.

O’Brien, Tim. The Things They Carried.

Patterson, James. Four Blind Mice.

Piven, Joshua and David Borgenicht. The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel.

Roach, Mary. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Cadavers.

Steinbeck, John. East of Eden.

Young, William P. The Shack.

MAGAZINES
Leadership Journal, Preaching, DiscipleWorld, Discipleship Journal

Do I Know You?

I had one of those experiences today that was so awesome, so coincidental, so serendipitous that I just have to share it.

About six years ago, my former youth group from North Christian Church in Columbus, Ind., came to visit me here in the Chicago area. They drove in Friday night and we spent Saturday downtown. We cruised Navy Pier and then went for lunch at Ed Debevic’s. I had never been there before, but I immediately loved it. Ed’s has a 50’s-diner theme and all the wait staff are in character. The cool thing is that they treat all the customers very rudely (and hilariously!).

The insult you. They throw straws at you. The pay very little attention to you. It’s like eating out with your kids! When our group visited, we got the royal treatment. For example, everyone gets a paper hat to wear when they arrive (like Steak N Shake). When we were there, one of the waiters kept taking one of our girl’s hats and ripping it up. Each time she get a new one, he would walk by, take it, and tear it up.

The most memorable part of lunch for me was our waiter, Reggie. He was very quick on his feet and could keep up verbally with our rowdy bunch. But I could also tell he was a really nice guy – and a great dancer. I can still remember our lunch at Ed’s to this day and Reggie was a big part of that (he even complimented me on my choice of the Chinese Chicken Salad). He was awesome! That day has been a defining moment for my time here in Chicago and when I think of it, I always think of Reggie. I have been to Ed’s several times since then, but have never seen Reggie again.

Fast-forward to today. I was driving to church this morning and thinking about that visit and our lunch at Ed’s. I was also thinking through the coming morning and hoping I would get to see Scott and Amy Breiler, a new couple to our church with two adorable boys, Campbell and Cooper. Amy and I have been exchanging emails this past week because she and Scott would like to have their youngest son, Cooper, dedicated. So the Breilers were on my mind. That’s when the brainstorm hit!

Later that morning, I saw Scott and Amy come into the sanctuary. I greeted them and their boys and then this conversation took place:

Me: Scott, I’ve been meaning to ask you were you work.

Scott: Actually, I’m in the restaurant industry.

Me (with growing excitement): Any chance you’ve ever worked at Ed Debevic’s?

Scott: Actually, that’s where I work.

Me (barely able to contain myself): Really? I think you waited on me once.

Scott (perplexed): Really?

Me (virtually shouting in this poor man’s face): REGGIE!!!!

Scott (taking a step back from me and sounding like I’d just outed him as a Sesame Street-hating cannibal who doesn’t recycle): Oh my gosh, how do you know that?

I went on to tell him the story about our visit and how much I enjoyed and remembered “Reggie.” Scott confirmed that he was indeed Reggie and was most concerned about whether or not he was mean to me. I said, “Yes, you were. That’s what made it so fun!”

I’m not sure why, but I can’t stop thinking about this connection. Of all the people, of all the restaurants, of all the congregations, the man who I so vividly remember has ended up attending our church. What makes it even better is that he and his family are an absolute joy to be around. And Scott isn’t nearly as mean as “Reggie,” but he’s just as funny.

I just had to share this story as an example of the joy of serendipity. I believe God led the Breilers to our church for many reasons, but whether it was God-ordained or just coincidence, I got a big smile or reconnecting with “Reggie” today.

Read any good books lately?

Every once in awhile, I like to share with you some of the books I’m reading. I love to spend time with a good book, and I’m always on the lookout for my next read. In the past few months I’ve read a couple of books that are worth recommending. So here’s a sampling from “The Pastor’s Bookshelf.”

The Overload Syndrome by Richard Swenson, M.D. – The subtitle of this book says it all: “Learning to live within your limits.” The book’s cover shows a stack of coffee cups leaning precariously to one side. Has your life ever felt like that? If you’re like me, you just thought, “Yeah, every day!” Swenson, a medical doctor, looks at the issue of stress from a spiritual perspective, offering some simple techniques to help the reader stop, rest, and heal. Swenson helps the reader see how the continual fast-paced progress of our society contributes to our overwhelming feeling of being overloaded.

His chapter on accessibility is especially insightful. He talks about how cell phones, email, and answering machines have made it impossible for us to get away from people who want to contact us. The concept of solitude has disappeared, and our own self-importance has been inflated by the many different ways we can “be needed” by other people. Swenson addresses several topics like this – some of the others are change, commitment, fatigue, debt – and then offers his own prescriptions for how to deal with them. The end result is a life characterized by peace, harmony, and meaningfulness.

Simple Church by Thom S. Rainer and Eric Geiger – Geiger and Rainer conducted an extensive study of successful churches to find out what they were doing to thrive and grow. The answer was simple. No, really, the answer was the churches were simple in their approach to helping people grow in their faith. These churches didn’t have dozens of different programs; they had a limited number of programs centered on a single purpose. Everything the church did served the purpose.

Imagine a boat full of rowers all working at different speeds and aiming in different directions. The boat wouldn’t get far, would it? This is what many churches are like in how they program and do ministry. Rainer and Geiger paint a picture of a church full of people rowing at the same speed and the same direction, following the four guiding principles of clarity, movement, alignment, and focus.

The challenge of being a simple church is being willing to say “no” to the ideas that don’t fit into the simple purpose. The authors talk about several churches that ended very popular, very successful programs because they didn’t fit into their goal. Rainer and Geiger offer a challenge to this church and every church: simplify.

East of Eden by John Steinbeck – I am almost ashamed to admit I’ve never read a John Steinbeck novel until this one. I was supposed to read a few of them in high school, but I figured that’s what Cliff’s Notes were for. So I finally took up the 600-page “East of Eden,” and found it to be one of the best books I’ve ever read. Having just spent a lot of time in Genesis during Bible Study last year, the stories and characters were still fresh in my mind, and I was amazed at how Steinbeck was able to weave the biblical story of Genesis into his epic tale of the Trask and Hamilton families. It’s hard to put into words just how much I liked this book, and easy it is to get caught up in Steinbeck’s storytelling. His evocative writing style is compelling, and ending of the book is simply beautiful.

Have you read a book recently that you really liked? I’d love to hear about it!

Getting a Handle on Life

One of the reasons my family and I are excited for the return of warmer weather is the ability to resume our traditional bike rides. I’m always amazed at how much my girls develop over the winter. Each year, Sydney gets stronger and stronger, and develops the ability to ride longer and longer – unfortunately for me!

Molly is also showing some progress in her development. Last year she could hardly even pedal her tricycle, but on our first few outings she’s taken control of her bike and pumped those little legs as fast as they will go.

The problem is that she hasn’t quite figured out yet how to pedal and steer at the same time. Now, you have to understand that Molly has never been cautious in her mobility. She is constantly walking into walls and furniture because she doesn’t pay attention to what’s in front of her. She gets so excited and revved up that where she’s going becomes secondary. She’s the only 3-year-old I know who needs a GPS navigation system.

When she’s riding her tricycle, she builds up a lot of momentum with her pedaling, but has yet to figure out how to keep the bike on the sidewalk. She’s usually too busy looking at a bird or car or nothing in particular to notice that she’s about to drive off into the grass. Her driving is so erratic the local police suspect we’ve been spiking her sippy cups. We’re considering installing guardrails on all our sidewalks.

Thankfully, Molly’s tricycle comes equipped with a navigational aid – a long handle that extends from the back of the bike that a parent can hold onto and use to steer any wayward toddlers back onto the right path. If I notice Molly veering toward a mailbox or unsuspecting jogger, I can grab the handle and direct her away from danger. So far, she hasn’t run over anything more valuable than my foot.

As I’ve grabbed that handled and steered her I the right direction, I’ve found myself wish that I came equipped with the same handle. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had handle that God could grab and reorient us when we started going in the wrong direction? How much easier would life be if we weren’t the ones steering?

But often the greatest lessons in life are learned by going down wrong paths. If God jumped in and rescued us every time, would we be the persons we are today? The only way Molly is going to realize the importance of staying on the sidewalk is to experience the difficulty of trying to pedal on the grass. I believe God allows us to make our mistakes as a way of helping us learn the benefits of living the life God has called us to live.

While God didn’t give us each our own handle, I do believe God gave us an invaluable navigational aid. The Bible is our compass that steers us in the right direction. Deuteronomy 30 says, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.”

We have choices laid out in front of us like sidewalks leading in different directions. We should strive to choose the path of life, holding fast to the love of God. And when we choose the wrong path, we can remember the forgiveness that is offered to us through Jesus Christ.

My Own Easter Story

I wrote this newsletter article several years ago after preaching a sermon about Easter. I thought it was appropriate to share it this week.

I was lying in the hospital bed on Friday, March 2, 2000. It was late in the evening, because I can remember how dark and somber the room felt. It was just my mom and me in the room; the steady flow of visitors throughout the day had ebbed. My last visitor had been the worst. It was the doctor. He showed me an MRI which revealed the lesions in my brain. He explained this meant there was a good chance I had multiple sclerosis.

I didn’t know what that meant, or what it would mean for the future, so with my mom there, I just cried. I prayed, “God, what does this mean? What do I do?”And when I opened my eyes, there stood Rick. Now, I imagine most people in Rick’s position would have quickly assessed the situation and politely excused himself. It was obvious I was in a lot of distress, and the last thing I wanted was a visitor. But, thank God, Rick stayed.

You see, Rick was used to distress and hospital rooms. Only two months earlier, he had lost his wife Linda to pneumonia. She was a sweet lady, only in her 40s, and beloved by the church. Rick had shown incredible strength during the whole ordeal, and managed to be an inspiration and comfort to us when we were supposed to be doing that for him.

So there Rick stood, hands in his jacket pockets, watching me cling to my mother and cry. I tried to gather myself as best as possible and but on my hospitality face, but Rick didn’t care. He simply said, “God sent me.”

“Did you know,” he continued, “that Linda was in the room right next to this one before she died? I pulled into the parking lot tonight, and I didn’t think I’d be able to come in. But God told me to, he said I had to see you. So I came in the hospital. But when I got on the elevator, I couldn’t bring myself to push the button for this floor, for Linda’s floor. But I had to. And then I saw your room, and I saw her room, and I knew I couldn’t walk into a hospital room again. But God told me it would be OK. So here I am.”

Indeed, there he was. I didn’t know what kind of journey I was facing in my life, but I couldn’t imagine it being any more difficult than the journey Rick had just made to see me. I remembered my prayer, “God, what do I do?” And I remembered Rick’s words, “God told me it would be OK. So here I am.” In the midst of my darkness, Rick brought Easter to me.

He didn’t cure me of MS. He didn’t promise me that life would be a cakewalk. He only told me that it would be OK. So here I am.

Q and A with Dr. Sydney

One of the many things I love about my 9-year-old daughter Sydney is her creative mind. She’s always been a problem-solver, and from a very early age was making “contraptions” with string, tape, and toys. She was like McGyver in diapers.

 She’s graduated to bigger and better things, and her creativity is just soaring. She seems to have an interest in science, so through email I started posing some question to her to get her thoughts on them. Her answers were just hilarious, and I had to share them! These are her completely original, unedited answers. I’ll add more as Dr. Sydney responds to them. Can you think of other questions I should ask?

DR. SYDNEY EXPLAINS IT ALL

Dad: Do aliens exist, or are we the only life form in the universe?

Dr. Sydney: No one knows for sure if aliens are real or not, but 23% of people believe in aliens, 77% are not sure, and 54% don’t believe.

Dad: Why does some people’s breath smell bad?

Dr. Sydney: People’s breath smells because if they don’t brush, the food on their teeth sinks in and rots, which explains bad breath.

Dad: If your nose runs and your feet smell, are you built upside down?

Dr. Sydney: If your nose runs and your feet smell, no, you are not built upside down. You might need a little medicine and a nice warm bath, though. Those are mighty hard questions…NOT! OK, maybe a little…

Dad: How do computers work?

Dr. Sydney: Computers work by well, they have little mechanical boxes in them called brains. When you click a button, it transfers it to the brain, telling it to go there.

Dad: Why are some people left-handed and some people right-handed?

Dr. Sydney: Some people are left-handed because when you split a body into two halves, there is a right side and a left side. For some people, their left side of their brain seems to get the words the other person just said, which also makes that same hand on that same side write faster.

Dad: If someone told you to prove to them God existed, what would you say?

Dr. Sydney: The way I can prove is that God exists is: All the clouds seem to move, right? Yes. Who do you think is pushing them? The wind is probably your answer. But who makes the wind? Who made the earth? Was it just an old rock in space? NO! God make the earth and we all should know that!

Dad: How do cell phones work?

Dr. Sydney: Cell phones work all because of transportation! When you send a call or a message, it automatically transports it to the other person’s phone! A invisible line connects them and it tells the other phone that someone is calling! 

Dad: Why do cows have more than one stomach?

Dr. Sydney: Cows have more stomachs their digestive systems. As you may know the process of a cow’s digestion system, that is why cows have more than one stomach.

Dad: How did Jesus rise from the dead?

Dr. Sydney: Jesus died on the cross and came back to life by God’s given son, him, which he rose up from the dead because it was a miracle!

Allow me to brag…

What many people don’t realize about the ministry is that it takes a tremendous support network for a pastor to be able to do his/her job well. The emotional, physical, and time demands placed on ministers are hard to quantify, but probably exceed most people’s estimates. While it’s an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling job, it’s not an easy one.

But this post isn’t about me. It’s about my wife, Leigh. Pastors’ wives (I realize there are pastors’ husbands, as well, but I’m going to speak from my own experience) have an thankless position. They are looked upon as the First Lady of the church and often expected to stand right alongside their husband in doing ministry and providing services to the church (thankfully, our church is very good about not doing this to Leigh, but the unspoken expectations are always there).

That’s only what the deal with in the public eye. Behind the scenes, Leigh has to deal with my ever-changing schedule, frequent evening meetings and counseling sessions, middle-of-the-night emergencies, and a sometimes grumpy husband who’s had a difficult day at work, all while taking care of our two amazing and beautiful daughters (they get that from her!), keeping the house presentable, shopping for food, making our meals, and doing some mindless, time-consuming work on the side (transcription) to help pay the bills. If you ask me, only God can accomplish more in six days than my wife!

Here’s an interesting tidbit: Leigh never signed on to be a pastor’s wife. When we met, I was a journalist, and when we got engaged, I was going to be a college professor. When the idea of ministry came up, she was unreserved in her enthusiasm and support of me, even though she wasn’t quite sure what that would mean for her.

From that point, she has made countless sacrifices so that I could complete school and start my career. It’s only in hindsight that I can begin to understand all that she has put aside for my sake. I know I haven’t always been very grateful for that, and I am ashamed of that, because she deserves a big “thank you” every single day for what she does. While she may not direct the choir or lead Sunday School, we are very much a team in ministry.

What some people may not know about Leigh is just how creative and talented she is. The church has had the pleasure of learning about her incredible desserts first-hand (I love my job as taste-tester!). But along with her culinary skills, she’s also a talented artist. Over the years she has dabbled in a number of art forms, and is talented in all of them. You should see the mosaic she created around our fireplace! She is simply one of the most creative people I know.

After years of trying her hand at a bunch of different things, I believe she’s finally found her true gift and calling: photography. She has a natural eye for taking pictures, and she’s produced some of the most beautiful shots of our girls and some of the kids in the church. Her pictures are able to capture a scene that goes beyond what the eye sees. She continues to amaze me with the depth of her talent.

So here’s the brag (as if I haven’t done that yet!): She is moving forward with starting a photography business called Little Feet Photography. It’s a decision that takes so much courage and initiative to do. It would be easy to think of 100 reasons not to do it. But she’s doing it, and I am so proud of her. I just know she’s going to be incredibly successful; she’s already starting to get more referrals than she can handle! You can check out some of her work here.

After years of putting her own ambitions on the back burner for my sake, I’m so thrilled to see her moving forward with something she really loves doing. Leigh is such a patient, loving, kind person. She has a great sense of humor and the ability to make me feel good even when I’ve had the worst of days. I smile every time she walks in the room! She continues to walk beside me as I deal with my MS without a word of complaint or regret. She is simply an amazing woman, and I have to be the luckiest man in the world to have her as my wife. I love her more each day, and I thank God every day for bring her into my life.

So Here I Am…

I was laying in the hospital bed on Friday, March 2, 2000. It was late in the evening, because I can remember how dark and somber the room felt. It was just my mom and me in the room; the steady flow of visitors throughout the day had ebbed. My last visitor had been the worst. It was the doctor. He came by to show me what my MRI had revealed: I had several lesions in my brain that meant there was a good chance I had multiple sclerosis.

I didn’t know what that meant, or what it would mean for the future, so with my mom there, I cried and prayed, “God, what does this mean? What do I do?” And when I opened my eyes, there stood Rick Ross. Now, I imagine most people in Rick’s position would have quickly assessed the situation and politely excused himself. It was obvious I was in a lot of distress, and the last thing I wanted was a visitor. But Rick stayed.

You see, Rick was used to distress and hospital rooms. Only two months earlier, he had lost his wife Linda to pneumonia. She was a sweet lady, only in her 40s, and beloved by the church. Rick had shown incredible strength during the whole ordeal, and managed to be an inspiration and comfort to us when we were supposed to be doing that for him.

So there Rick stood, hands in his jacket pockets, watching me cling to my mother and cry. I tried to gather myself as best as possible and but on my hospitality face, but Rick didn’t care. He simply said, “God sent me.”

“Did you know,” he continued, “that Linda was in the room right next to this one before she died? I pulled into the parking lot tonight, and I didn’t think I’d be able to come in. But God told me to; He said I had to see you. So I came in the hospital. But when I got on the elevator, I couldn’t bring myself to push the button for this floor, for Linda’s floor. But I had to. And then I saw your room, and I saw her room, and I knew I couldn’t walk into a hospital room again. But God told me it would be OK. So here I am.”

Indeed, there he was. I didn’t know what kind of journey I was facing in my life, but I couldn’t imagine it being any more difficult than the journey Rick had just made to see me. I remembered my prayer, “God, what do I do?” And I remembered Rick’s words, “God told me it would be OK. So here I am.” In the midst of my darkness, only a few days after Ash Wednesday, Rick had brought a glimpse of Easter into my hospital room.

He didn’t cure me of MS. He didn’t promise me that life would be a cakewalk. He didn’t promise me I wouldn’t be debilitated in some way. He only told me that it would be OK. So here I am.

2007 Non-Resolutions

I gave up on making resolutions awhile ago because I would become too depressed when I’d break them at 3 p.m. on New Year’s Day. It’s hard to stay resolute when there’s a plate of Christmas cookies calling your name. So I figure, “Why set myself up for failure?” Instead of resolutions, I have a list of hopes for 2007. Here they are:

After a rocky 2006, I hope for good health in 2007. I hope my MS stays quiet this year, and that nothing else unexpected crops up.

I hope Sydney continues to excel in school, and that she doesn’t develop an interest in boys.

I hope Molly decides to use the potty sooner rather than later so she can start preschool in the fall.

I hope Leigh’s interest in photography “develops” into more than a hobby – she’s AMAZING!

I hope Community Christian Church continues to experience growth in both numbers and spiritual depth.

I hope the Reds get a decent starting pitcher.

I hope God surprises me somehow this year – hopefully in a good way!

I hope my love for my job only grows stronger and richer.

I hope I am able to do a better job trusting God.

I hope for peace.

I hope a cure for multiple sclerosis is finally discovered, and I hope it involves eating Reese’s Cups.

I hope this season of “24″ is as good as the last one.

I hope my family stays healthy and happy.

I hope “Lost” provides more answers than questions.

I hope to spend more time on golf courses this summer.

I hope for more Date Nights.

I hope to cross paths with friends I haven’t seen in too long.

I hope my relationship with God grows deeper and stronger each day.

I hope scientists discover some redeeming nutritional qualities about Krispy Kremes.

I hope God continues to be so patient with me.

So, what do you hope for in 2007?